Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
