spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
