We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
