remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize