Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
