Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
