WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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