we have pet lesbian snakes
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
