you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
