its not stalking. its research.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
