Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
