More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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