He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Alive.
So much puke
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
