You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
