i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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