After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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