OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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