i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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