another moral hangover. fuck.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
