He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
