Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
