All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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