I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
