French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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