is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
