Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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