Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
