She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
