he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
