I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well I just put wine in my tea
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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