Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
