There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
