just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Randomize
