I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
