so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
