I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
