mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
