I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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