I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
