CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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