Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
