Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
