the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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