Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
