Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
