WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
