the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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