I think I won the penis lottery.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
