he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I love you.
Bad choice
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
