and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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