Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize