Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
