Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Houston, we have a squirter
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
