There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
