a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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