how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize