you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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