North Korea, Best Korea!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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