That's intense
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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